22 Weeks

This week is bittersweet for us. This is the week when I delivered Lila & Cole.

I'm not going to try to ignore the reality of the situation. It's real and that really did happen and it's a part of our family's story. I always knew that if I were ever to be pregnant again that I would dread this week and wish it away as soon as possible.

We didn't understand then and we don't understand now why they had to leave us so soon but, we have accepted it. We are so grateful for the time we had with our babies and I wouldn't trade even a second of it. I, in fact, would do it all over again if only to get the same few moments again with them. They are our children. We saw their faces that mirrored our own and we got to hold them and love them and that is something we are so thankful for.

I hope that our story with this baby girl is so different. But I won't allow myself to sit in fear. I choose to wait in Faith and know that our God is so much bigger than death and that He is with us through life's storms.


Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10 


On a lighter note,

I did get two special surprises this week:

A fun card from my sweet friend Jackie!

 

And a very meaningful gift from my Aunt Trish: 

This was one of my grandma's angel pins that she had collected over the years. My grandma loved angels and always wore an "Angel on your shoulder" pin. I think everyone in the family has one from her and she still had some left over. My aunt came across this pin several months ago and held it aside. She said she's not even sure if she knew I was pregnant or not when she came across it but she for sure didn't know I was having a girl and, as it turns out, her birthstone will be the Pearl. 

I am so grateful to have this special keepsake for her from her great grandma. She was just the best grandma in the world and such a special, special woman and if our daughter gets even an ounce of her character, she will be all the better for it.