Violet's hospital stay

**I'm still trying to do some catch up here with Violet's story. It's taken some time to get used to our lives with a newborn so blogging just took a back seat. But we are just so happy and loving every minute with our sweet girl and I want to make sure I keep up with her journey on here as much as I can**

I'm going to be honest....

I was a hot mess in the hospital.

I want to apologize right now to everyone who visited us while we were there and I had a nervous breakdown in front of them.

I was super delirious from not having slept in two nights and as soon as they finally got us in our postpartum room they took Violet away from me for 3 hours because they were afraid there was something wrong with her breathing. They tell me that chest X rays are going to be ordered, etc... basically freaking me out.

Needless to say, a doctor finally came to talk to me and turns out there was not a thing wrong with her and they didn't need to do any tests. I found it all a little ridiculous in the end but was so grateful to have my healthy baby back in my room. Then, they tell me about her jaundice. That her levels kept going up. That they were going to take her away from me again and put her under the lights. I banned all visitors at that point. It was all too much.  (Meanwhile they didn't end up doing this either but as you well know, we ended up back at the hospital anyway)

Long story short, I know how excited everyone was/is to meet Violet but the hospital visits just weren't what I hoped they would be. I'm grateful for everyone who wanted to come celebrate her and apologize to those I kicked out or told not to come.

We are in a better routine now and will welcome visitors if you would like to come see her.  

Here are some highlights from her stay...

Snuggling with my baby girl

 Violet is 1 day old and already eating from a spoon! We were spoon feeding her Colustrum to make sure that she got it as sometimes preemies have trouble getting used to nursing.

She loved to be swaddled:)

Heading home!
 (I can see now how jaundiced she looked but at the time we had no idea!)

As they were wheeling me out of the hospital holding my baby girl, we came to the hallway and I immediately began bawling my eyes out. I hadn't even thought about it until we hit the hallway. But I believe that hallways have memories and this one slapped me in the face.

My arms weren't empty this time.

The nurses escorting me out stopped and asked if I was ok. It took me a minute but I explained to them that my arms were full. Last time I left that hospital they were not.

I have thanked God for her a thousand times but I'm sure none were as raw as that moment.

Thank you Lord for memories, bitter and sweet. Thank you for allowing me to know how big of a miracle she is. Thank you for letting our arms be full where they were once empty. Thank you for new life.