29 Weeks

These weeks are really starting to fly by for me right now as all the things I've been putting off doing for the past 7 months are catching up with me!

Just 11 more weeks until our little Violet will be here:)

I'm going to be real honest today. I have been having a hard time. Physically I think I'm doing great but emotionally, not so much.

Don't get me wrong. I have joy. I have so much joy sometimes I can't contain it. But along with that I have the unfortunate memories of an unhappy ending and I have been battling with my mind and faith to keep that at bay.

I know sometimes people tell me how strong they think I am and I am so glad that they feel that way. That is just simply God's grace shining through. But I am human and sometimes fear can creep its way in so sneakily. After all, I am an easy target.

I really have to keep watch for these times and shut them down as soon as they start. The Bible tells us that:

"God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind."
 2 Timothy 1:7

I was standing in my bathroom earlier this week trying to get ready to meet a friend for a therapy session lunch, and suddenly the tears just started to fall. I felt so overwhelmed with dealing with all the emotions of being a new mom and the mom that I've had to be for the past three years. And in that moment I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, "You are carrying her...you have to let me carry you."

...Once again, He always shows up right when I need Him...

I have to be honest again and say that I keep trying to convince myself that I have plenty of time to prepare for the baby when really I'm afraid of having to tear down another unused crib. This has been a massive struggle for me and one that I've been too ashamed to say out loud. But I'm putting it out there and I'm going to deal with it. Those thoughts are lies and I'm not going to entertain them any longer. We are going to step out in faith and prepare for our daughter and trust the Lord to do His thing! 

I would ask of you all to please keep us in your prayers during these next several weeks. Please pray for peace of mind and for our daughters continued good progress.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

I know that our prayers have been heard and answered this whole time and now is the time to keep them going. We just love you all so much and appreciate how invested you are in our family and all of our children. Sometimes there aren't words to express how it feels to have someone root for you. 

Meanwhile, in the next couple days I hope to have some sneak peak nursery pics and updates about some other things going on:)